“Why, sometimes I’ve believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.”
– Through the Looking Glass, by Lewis Carroll
Cut the Watermelon in half and remove as much of it as necessary to pour in the vodka. Place the watermelon in the freezer. Eat the olives while you wait. Apply the Axe cologne. Go to sleep. Wake up to frozen vodka watermelon. Eat as much of it as you can. Take the two bags of ice, open them, and spill the contents out on the floor. Lay down on the ice to tighten the mind. Take a couple cherries in your pocket and make your way down to the nearest bar. Ask the first attractive person that you meet if they would like to dine with you when you are more coherent and then hand them your cherry pits. When you get home. Open the umbrella inside.
by Peter Lane